Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Finding Myself After Domestic Violence

 Hello Everyone!

During the 8 years I've been blogging I try to focus on social issues. Domestic Violence is one topic that I have discussed before and after I found myself getting out of a domestic violence relationship. 4 years ago I shared my own personal story. In my initial post when I first shared my story in 2017,  I mentioned that most of the domestic violence I endured was verbal, emotional and mental abuse. 

My Original drawing I created for Domestic Violence Awareness in 2019

Dealing with a narcissistic abuser is exhausting, and it took time for me to find myself again. All the I love yous wasn't enough to make me stay especially when his actions didn't reflect the word love. One thing I did once I ended things is make myself a priority again. I've said this numerous times on my blog, self care isn't selfish.

Unbeknownst to me at the time I didn't realize that I wasn't making myself a priority. All the negativity took a toll on my self esteem and the perception I had for myself. I began to get back to doing things that I loved. I started putting on makeup and dressing cute again just because.  Anytime I started to feel depressed, I thought about how good my life was going to be without him in it. I allowed myself to acknowledge my feelings, but I refused to stay in a dark lonely place. As I mention that was 4 years ago. 

You can find happiness after domestic violence. You have to start with yourself. Self love and self care are two elements that are so important. I love myself enough to know that I deserve to be happy.

Surviving Domestic Violence (2017)

Surviving Domestic Violence: One Year Later (2018)

Surviving Domestic Violence: Two Years Later (2019)

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (2020)


  1. You are a beautiful person, Pilar. You're right, self love and self care are two very important things. You will be Ok.....because you're YOU! : )


  2. You are strong and brave. This post will help others.

  3. Oh Pilar you are such a strong person,
    stay as you are and continue to have faith in yourself
    and have a beautiful self-image.


  4. Beautiful words. You're absolutely right. Selfcare is very important. If we don't have a good relationship with ourselves, then our relationship with others suffers as well. It is so important not to be too hard on ourselves and be there for ourself as well. Toxic and abusive relationship and situations can really take a toll on everyone, so selflove is in that sense very important. Thank you for sharing.

  5. hello pillar
    I'm happy to know that you managed to free yourself from all this situation of violence and now look at you, how beautiful you look inside and out!

  6. Very inspirational Pilar. You deserve happiness and peace in your heart. It is incredible what self care and self love can do for the soul. Stay strong!

  7. As I said before, you were very brave to share your story as it could help others to get help. Pilar, I'm very happy that you've found happiness again and have moved on to a good place with yourself.

  8. Such an important topic. Emotional abuse and verbal abuse are just as traumatic as physically abuse.
    Glad you were able to get out of the relationship. Stay strong and happy.

  9. Good for you, Pilar, for having the strength and courage to leave that abusive relationship and rediscover your own wonderful self!

  10. I've said before you are such a strong person Pilar. Sharing your story will inspire others.