As you can see for my photo the leaves are changing colors as we continue the Fall season. I think life is a lot like the leaves, life is always changing.
My life has been a constant season of change especially since my mom died on the 4th of July. That was the day my life changed forever. When she first died I was completely devastated. I mentioned this before, but the morning after she died I was so angry not that she died, but that I woke up. I just wanted to be with my mom. When she died it was hard for me to look at myself in the mirror knowing that I look just like my mom. Four months later I still hurt. I think about her everyday and I miss my mom so much. She wasn't only my mom, but my very best friend.
The moments when I feel sad, I like to think of the happy memories of my mom. She was so full of life and I know she wants me to remember our happy times and all that she instilled in me to be the woman that I am and the woman I want to become. In the midst of all my grief I am thankful for the 37 years my mom was in my life.
In August I found a new lease on life because I could've lost my own life. I was so sick with pneumonia, sepsis, and covid. That first hospital stay still traumatize me knowing that I could've died. I still struggle with that. I'm thankful that I was able to recover from those illnesses sooner rather than later. I'm still having some complications, but I'm not as sick as I was before and for that I'm thankful and blessed.
I started blogging again to channel my feelings. Everyday isn't a bad day, but I do have my bad days that I struggle with my mental health and physical health. Some days I'm harder on myself than others and I don't give myself enough credit and grace. In life we just the best we can and take one day at time. Challenges can make you feel like maybe I deserve all the bad things I feel and going through even though that's usually not true. Life just tends to happen. In this season of thankfulness I'm thankful for a lot, especially lifes basic necessities a home, food, etc.. No matter what you go through it's always some in your life to be thankful for.