I hate anxiety
Today's post is very hard for me to write. Friday night I spent hours in the ER due to an anxiety attack and high blood pressure.
I walked in the ER feeling completely helpless and in tears. Truth be told I was in hysterics. I felt like I couldnt breathe then I started hyperventilating. I thought I was going to throw up and pass out. The world around me became closed in and I didn't know what to do. I wrote about emotional self care a few weeks ago, and I realized that this past week I haven't been doing that.
This needle was very painful
I've shared a few of my personal struggles over the last few months. Friday night I felt like life just became too overwhelming. The nurses were very caring and concerned, but the doctor I had was rude and uncaring. He was most concerned with the shift changing and ready to leave. He had the mental health specialist talk with me which was also not much of a help. She was very kind, but not helpful. I have a BA degree in psychology so I know how these things go. They didn't get my blood pressure down, and basically sent me on my way with a cup of water that asked for hours ago and only received when I was getting ready to leave. I felt just as badly as I did when I left the ER as I did when I first got there.
Very scary...my blood pressure was 159/123 almost stroke level
I feel thankful for all my makeup clients that understand their cancellations for the upcoming week. I will be back to creating your makeup looks very soon. As I mentioned in my 6th Blogiversary Post, I will be taking a social media break.
I took this picture in the ER, to show the realness of anxiety. Anxiety is real, depression is real. Mental health issues are real. As you can see I'm still very visibly upset. Please be kind to people. They may be going through a struggle you know nothing about...
I'm unsure of when I'll be back on social media. Maybe a week or more. Right now I'm not sure. I will be back though. I don't want to put anymore pressure on myself than I have to.
This morning I drove to Lake Murray and parked to clear my mind. I'm still having anxiety and depression, but I find peace here. Trees are supposed to symbolize a new start. So here's to new beginnings. Talk with you all soon.
July 2019 Posts
Blue Glitter Mermaid Eyes
Creative Patriotic Makeup
Emotional Self Care
Sunshine
Current Beauty Wishlist
Things That Make Me Happy As An Adult
Get to Know Me!
Summer Glam 2019
Happy 6th Blogiversary to Beauty and More by Pilar!
56 comments:
oh my... I sincerely hope you are feeling better. life is too beautiful to be disregarded and life begins with you!(our-self) always...
https://sepatuholig.blogspot.com/
IG @gracenjio
I'm so sad to hear you're not feeling so great. I hope you feel better. Keep your head up!
Oh Pilar, I am very sorry to hear you are currently struggling and you didn´t receive the care you needed when you went to the ER.
Take all the time you need and make yourself a priority again.
Always praying for you. I like seeing your post as it makes me secure that your doing ok. I hate when you take a break but I understand.
People that have never had anxiety will never understand the extent of your pain. They think you can just go cry it out . I do not like hospital doctors. To them, everyone is just a number. Keep your eyes on God. He knows what your going through.
Prayers
Lisa
Sweetheart, you're going to be okay. Whatever you're going through istemporary and you will get through it. I see the hurt and pain in your photo all in your face. Pilar, you're a beautiful girl 00inside and out. I will continue to pray for you.
Pilar, do get well soon.. Do understand that this is just a phase which will pass. Depression and anxiety is something which I pray not even my enemies go through, you don t understand it but it just comes over and you feel helpless, but do understand that they can t taken our spirit, so we need to give major fightback and not give in, Instead we need to feel these things helpless and high time we make it helpless and then journey is amazing,, I have been through depression and anxiety before, but have slowly overcome it and in the process of destroying anxiety and depression.. You do well, sending love and healing powers
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Praying.
Sending well thoughts you way Pilar. I hope you can find more peace. Depression and anxiety make day to day life much more challenging. I also think it means you are stronger than the average person. Finding outlets like nature can really do wonders.
Apologies for the typo in the prior message. Did you report the doctor that treated you? This type treatment should not be tolerated. That picture of you in the ER is just heartbreaking.
All the best for you, i hope you feel now better than the Day in ER.
Lovely Greetings <3 Take all the Time you need. I love your Blog always.
O my dear! I'm very sorry to hear about. Lots of love and hug.. Please take care of yourself!
Oh no ! It sucks to struggle with anxiety - I do hope you feel more relaxed soon and take it easy. Sending all my love.
I'm very sorry to hear about your anxiety attack but I feel even worse knowing you didn't get the treatment you should have had. I know that for people suffering from anxiety and depression it is hard to ask for help, so I imagine that not getting the help when they do ask for it just makes the whole matter worse. Unfortunately, sometimes even people in the medical professional aren't able to provide the kind of help that is needed, sometimes because they can't (for whatever reason) and sometimes because they won't. Sorry to hear about that doctor who only cared about the change of the shift and the mental professional who wasn't helpful...Taking a break from social media sounds like a good idea because even when they don't do us any harm, they still take up a lot of time and our energy and it seems like you need time for yourself now. I hope you'll find a way to keep the anxiety at bay. Good luck and God bless!
Pilar, I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. It's scary having to go to the emergency, and even more troubling when you don't get good doctor care. I hope you feel better, and know this anxiety is very common. Our world is full of so much stress. I'm glad you went to Lake Murray. That is the place to be right now. I am sending you comforting thoughts of love and friendship.
~Sheri
I hope you are feeling better my dear Pilar... lots of love!
Kisses, Paola.
Expressyourself
I'm so sorry to hear that you had an anxiety attack Pilar and it's terrible that your visit to the ER didn't help you to feel better in any way. Anxiety and depression can be debilitating if not properly managed so concentrate on taking care of yourself for now. Definitely don't feel any pressure to blog or go on social media. We'll still be here when you get back. Just place a priority on you and feel better. Sending you positive energy and hugs.
Thank you Grace
Thank you
Thank you Anne
Thank you Lisa
Thank you Marie
I thought about calling back making a report because he was so rude and uncaring.
Thanks Priya
Thanks Rue
Thanks Val
Thank you T
Thank you Krishna
Thank you Lynette
Thank you Ivana
Thanks Sheri
Thanks Paola
Thanks Rowena
Wish you all the best! xxI hope you get better soon!
Thanks
It's been a while since I left a long comment. It is very sad that you had this anxiety attack so strong. And although it is very sad what I will say as a person who suffers from anxiety since adolescence, I can tell you that this will not stop happening. You just need to be stronger than this.
Regarding the doctor who treated you in an emergency, I am a doctor and I can tell you that when you have been working for hours without sleep, you lose your empathy. And as long as the patient's life is not at risk one calms down. My recommendation stay away from the blog and social networks as you plan because that is only going to get worse.
I agree with some of what you're saying but not all. I have a B.A. Degree in Psychology and the one thing I do know is that you don't mistreat a patient because of your lack of sleep or tiredness. When you get to that point you need to go home. It's not right or fair to take out your frustrations on patients. This is part of the reason why people especially with mental illnesses avoid healthcare facilities due to fear of judgement and mistreatment.
I've dealt with anxiety for over 10 years. It's hard. I am strong. I let things get to me and not deal with my emotions until everything became overwhelming. Social media isn't my problem, I'm taking time off so I can focus on myself, not because of issues with social media. The stronger than this comment wasn't called for because having a meltdown doesn't make a person any less strong. Emotions are a sign we're human. If my story encourages someone to get help if they need it, then that's all that matters.
Anxiety is no joke. Knowing when something is wrong and getting treatment is very important. Keep doing the things that makes you happy while you are away. Take as long as you need, doll.
Thank you Nerline
hope, you are getting better...…
praying for you...
Thank you Tanza
I hope you fell good now 💞
Thank you Kinga
Hi Pilar, I hope you are feeling better darling. I know depression and anxiety
can really be difficult I fought and still fight both but it gets better. You must find a psychologist that you trust and like to help you through it all Also I listen to a few free apps on my phone please do search affirmation and pick a few listen to them everyday. positive thoughts and positive words and positive thinking are hard but you need to replace your thoughts and fears with good ones. Another great activity is use two fingers and tap on your face to release tension I hope I could help somehow and I hope to see you happy and smiling again and yes keep close to nature Swap the bad energies by the good ones If you need someone to talk to I am here always god bless you xoxo Cris
https://photosbycris.blogspot.com/2019/08/lilacoco-power-of-being-you.html
Get well soon Pilar.
Take care of yourself first and your health,
we will still be here when you get back to blogging.
Ann
https://roomsofinspiration.blogspot.com/
Hi Pilar. I hope you are doing well and feeling better!
Thank you Cris
Thank you Ann
Thank you Marie
A big hug, Pilar!
Missing your pretty smile :)
Thank you Evi
Girl....you need to do whatever you need to do to feel better. I am so sorry you are dealing with this and I do hope that things get better real soon.
Thank you Pam
I am sorry you are struggling with anxiety and depression. I have suffered from both and they are not fun. But anxiety in particular is difficult to deal with. Yes taking a break from blogging and social media should be helpful. And don't watch the news. Just steer clear of it. Spending more time in peaceful places. And if you can meditate that may help too.
And I am not a fan of doctors at all. And emergency rooms are not good b/c they only really designed to treat life and death situations so if you will get short shrift if your not in this situation. I hope you find the right therapist. I think this is key.
Allie of
www.allienyc.com
Thanks Allie. I've been focusing on my mental health and taking time out for myself. I have a good therapist and psychiatrist so that isn't really an issue. I was taken aback of how the doctor treated me in the ER. I understand the ER is typically for emergency situations, but I was in such an anxiety ridden state. He acted like he really didn't care.
Sweet Pilar, You must know we are all concerned. I would come hug you if I could honey. You have always been kind and in my corner , so please know I am with you. I know your anxiety is real and yes even dangerous. Treat yourself with care. Too bad the ER doctor was not kinder or more patient. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Bless you and your mom, xoxo, Susie
P.S. you are beautiful even in ER.
Thank you Susie. I've received so many kind comments, prayers, and concern over the past few weeks. I appreciate you all so much. I haven't been treating myself with care like I should and everything became overwhelming. I'm still having anxiety, but I'm dealing with it. That ER doctor needs to learn a better bedside manner. He was just plain rude. Right now my focus is on feeling better. Bless you and Ted as well.
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