Reflections 2019/Almost 34 Years Old

Hello Everyone!

2019 What a year and I don't fully mean that in a good way. I've had so many obstacles this year. I moved, my health hasn't been the best, I've had family drama, my car needed work done more than once, I've gained weight from emotional eating. I've struggled badly with anxiety and depression. This list seems endless, but nonetheless I'm still pushing through.

Never forget...

I've spent a lot of this year overcoming obstacles and being resilient. Even though I know I'm a strong girl, sometimes things became just too much. Life isn't always fair, but that doesn't mean you can quit. I've spent many nights wide awake not being able to sleep thinking about all the things I've had going on in my life. I've spent many nights crying and feeling afraid because of my anxiety.

ER visit for anxiety: July 2019

Sometimes I've been in so much emotional and mental distress that I thought I was on the verge of having an emotional meltdown. I have to constantly remind myself to acknowledge my feelings and or seek help before I let my issues with anxiety and depression get to a debilitating point. I also want to thank everyone once again that kept me in your thoughts and prayers to feel better in terms of my anxiety and depression struggles. That means so much to me that you all are so caring and supportive.

Beautiful sunset

In life you have to remember that you have to help yourself. People can help you, but it's ultimately up to you to put in the hard work and make the effort. I'm learning that anything or anyone that compromises my mental health I need to eliminate from my life. I owe it to myself to be happy and healthy.

Hope

I lost some of the weight I gained during my depressive state. (I went through this a few years ago after I graduated college and gained and lost weight) I'm eating healthier and I'm trying to stick to diet that will help bring my iron levels up. I'm still having nutirent deficiency issues, but I'm continuing to work with my doctor and taking medication to bring those levels up.

Makeup is my passion

I'm here for a purpose. Life can get really hard at times, but I can't quit. I have so many goals that I'm still trying to accomplish and make my dreams a reality. During this year especially the past few months, I've been on a spiritual journey. I'm not a deeply religious person, but I do believe in God. My relationship with God is very important to me. To read more about my spiritual journey, click here

My MUA business has been productive this year, and I've worked with amazing clients.  I've collaborated and reviewed for brands. This year I was also invited to my first brand event for Urban Decay! As an influencer, I will always be honest about the products that I review. Even though I'm an influencer, I still love create my own original content to share with you all.

I'm working on some new projects and business ventures for next year as well. 2019 hasn't been that great, but I'm remaining positive, strong, focused, and looking forward to 2020.

Almost 34 Years Old

I promised myself that I would not be one of these people that focus solely on the number of my next age, but the past few months I've been feeling old. It's funny that I don't see others who are older than I am as old. Around July (the month I had an anxiety attack that sent me to ER) I started feeling like I wasn't accomplishing some of my personal goals. I know that was just depression and anxiety getting the best of me, but I still felt unfulfilled. I've always been driven, but my setbacks and disappointment led me to become that more driven.

I wrote in my reflections part of my post, I owe it to myself to be healthy and happy. I also owe it to myself to have a good birthday.  I had a good birthday last year, but I spent most of my birthday sleeping on Christmas because I was trying to get over a bad cold. Praying for good health as my birthday approaches (and good health in general). I would like to do something for my birthday this year.

I don't have any plans as of yet, but we'll see. Since my birthday is on Christmas Day, there are very limited things and places that are open so if I go out, it will have to be before or after my birthday. 

Update as of December 3rd...I know that many of you look forward to my Christmas Posts, but I think I'm going to sit this year out. Honestly I've been feeling burned out. I will be back in January refreshed, reset, and ready for a brand new year! See you all in 2020! You can always check out my Christmas posts from December 2018! Wishing all of you a very wonderful and safe holiday season! 

Love ❤🎄🎁🍰🎉,


Pilar



My Personal Posts for 2019

What is Love?

A Different Direction

Rediscovery

Courage Believe Inspire

Soak up the Sun

Life Lessons

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

A Mother's Day Message For My Mom

Memories of My Father

Sunshine

Emotional Self Care

Anxiety and Announcement

Mental Health Check-In

Well, That Explains a Lot...

Family

Surviving Domestic Violence: Two Years Later

World Mental Health Day

Spiritual Journey/Thankful