Thursday, April 11, 2019

Rediscovery

Hello Everyone!


Start each day with a grateful heart 💛

I was lost and I felt like my world was falling apart.
I sometimes wondered how is it that I can solve other people's issues, but I struggle with my own?...that was me about a year ago.

When I started going back to therapy last Summer I felt like an emotional mess. My anxiety and depression issues were at an all time high, and affecting many aspects of my life. I was becoming increasingly withdrawn and distant from those that I loved. I have my good days and I have my bad days. Shortly after I moved out of my apartment I had several bad days..about two bad weeks actually. If you missed that post you can read about it here.

I realized the cycle of Familiarity was holding me back. It's so easy to go back to what you know, people you feel comfortable around etc. Fearing the unknown was keeping me from stepping into my destiny. For the record I'm still unsure of what exactly my destiny is supposed to be, but I feel I have a clearer vision as I work towards it.


Throughout the last few months I've lost friends, moved out of my home, and I realized these things are not always a loss. Forgiveness doesn't require reconnection. Acceptance can help you heal. I'm no where near perfect, but I've learned to be kinder to myself. I surround myself around people that love and accept me for who I am.

I put this thought into perspective...how can I expect to walk in the right direction if I'm constantly having the wrong people or things in my life? You can't  progress by standing still.


Lake Murray at Sunset. So Beautiful 

As I rediscover myself, I've learning a lot of the things along the way including make peace with the past. Rediscovery and long traveled roads can lead to beautiful destinations.


April 2019 Posts

My Life in March 2019

Lake Murray

Goose Creek Candles: Spring Favorites

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

32 comments:

krishna said...

Oh dear! A big hug for you. Just go ahead girl!

Rowena @ rolala loves said...

Sounds like you've been on quite a journey Pilar. Glad to hear the picture is becoming clearer. Here's to your journey to clarity and finding yourself again leading you to a better place.

Pam said...

Wishing you all the luck in rediscovering yourself. It took me many yrs to find me, love me and be happy with me, only recently with the changes in my life (changes forced on me), I have lost me and struggling and fighting to get back to that person, that keeps slipping further and further away, I am not having any luck. I am emotional drained, I am mad, I hurt, I have to force smiles and good conversation when around others and that is so not me.....I understand how you felt a yr ago. Sometimes being strong is harder than we can take and we have to regroup......best of luck. Thank you so much for your kind comment on my blog.

Lisa said...

I do not suffer with Anxiety or depression but I have had days where I have experienced it. No fun! It felt like a cloud would come over my emotions.
I think about you a lot and what you have been through. Life can get so overwhelming but You are going to be OK.
Hugs
Lisa

Sakuranko said...

I suffer from anxiety and sincerely there are days when it becomes unbearable to live. I have not been to therapy for a long time and I want to go back.

PhotosbyCris Travel Fashion Lifestyle said...

Hi beautiful, I hope you are feeling better. Sometimes the world seems to collapse on our shoulders and it is all so hard to carry it. I know I have been there too many times, I also have distanced myself from people I do not feel bad about it as I need to get away, think and restore my energy. Reconnect with others in your own time and surround yourself with only those who are really worth it. Have a wonderful weekend xoxo Cris
https://photosbycris.blogspot.com/2019/04/breakfast-in-bed.html

ALLIE NYC said...

I am glad you are seeking therapy and that it is helping you. Half the battle is finding the right therapist and being motivated to go. I think with therapy and your keen introspection you will come out the other end a stronger wiser person. And second step after therapy is eliminating all the people around that bring you down.

Allie of
www.allienyc.com

Anonymous said...

Wishing you all the best! It sounds like you are finding your way.

Susie said...

Pilar, You are such a smart young lady. You are right about forgiveness. We must forgive to move on, but there are times we need to think of ourselves. You need to treat yourself as well as you would any good friend. We also must learn from any of our mistakes. I can tell you are way braver than you used to be, as you are not afraid to stand up for your beliefs. You stay strong young lady, proud of you. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

Jackie Harrison said...

Focus on your own energy when you feel the world is closing in. Prayer is the best healer with faith you conquer anything. I will pray for you.

Paola Lauretano said...

It sounds like you are on the the right way, I wish you all the best!
Kisses, Paola.

Expressyourself

Marie said...

Beautiful written post Pilar. Over the years I've read your inspirational posts and how you've evolved and kept a optimistic attitude. You should be proud of yourself. Rediscovery can be so insightful as we journey through life.

Adriana Leandro said...

I hope you are feeling better now.
Kisses!

galerafashion.com

Linda, Libra, Loca said...

It is important to only surround yourself with people that help you go into your right direction, no matter where that might be. Preserving your energy by not reconnecting with people is a sign of strength and selfcare.

Ivana Split said...

You are very wise to see rediscovering yourself as a journey as this is what it is. Perhaps we could even say that getting to know ourselves is the most important journey we can make. Sometimes we need to push ourselves and learn how to let go of certain things and people before we can move on and become a better version of ourselves. Depression and anxiety are never easy to deal with, but going through difficult experiences can help us become better and stronger people.

Pilar said...

Thanks Krishna.

Pilar said...

Thanks Rowena. Finding myself again has been quite a journey. I'm taking life as comes, and not being too hard on myself.

Pilar said...

Thanks Pam, and you're welcome. I'm still a work in progress. This time last year, I was angry and frustrated. I'm only human that I still have these feelings, but I feel like I'm in a better place than I was last year. I understand how you feel as well. I forced so many smiles last year when I felt like crying. Putting on a brave face for the world can be exhausting. I know that you have been through quite a lot these past few months. I hope that you have better days ahead. Hugs

Pilar said...

Thanks Lisa. When life gets overwhelming, I try not to let it get to me. Coping with anxiety and depression is very important. I feel better than I did this time last year.

Pilar said...

I have somewhat of an understanding of how you're feeling. Anxiety can be so overwhelming. Feeling anxious is not fun at all. It's ok if you need to go back to therapy, I find it very helpful to talk about my feelings. There is treatment for anxiety so you don't have suffer with those feelings.

Pilar said...

Thanks Cris. I am feeling better. Most of what I felt happened last year. I still struggle with anxiety and depression, but I have better insight on how to cope. I used to feel bad about disconnecting from people, but self care is so important. Like I said I'm not perfect, but I'm much kinder to myself now. No matter how much it may hurt, some people aren't supposed to be in my life. I've learned to accept that. Wishing you a wonderful week as well.

Pilar said...

Thanks Allie. Seeking therapy was one of the best decisions I made last year. You're right, finding the right therapist is so important. I'm actually in the process of changing my therapist. I'm open to constructive criticism, but my last therapist was very negative and he judged others. I knew at my 3rd session it wasn't going to work. I told my psychiatrist about it, and we decided it was best to switch therapist. I see my therapist next month.

I have noticed change in the right direction since I eliminated people from my life. It wasn't the easiest decision, but the right decision.

Pilar said...

Thank you

Pilar said...

Thanks Susie. You are always so kind. You sound a lot like my mom. She always says that I have to treat myself well as I would anyone else. Over the past year I'm learning self care. I've made mistakes, but I learn from them. I've always felt like I was brave, but you're right I feel more braver within the last year. Blessing to you as well.

Pilar said...

Thanks Jackie. I always keep God first and stay in prayer.

Pilar said...

Thanks Paola

Pilar said...

Thanks Marie. I feel so proud of myself for all that I've overcome. I've had so much insight these past few months.

Pilar said...

Thanks Adriana.

Pilar said...

I agree Anne. Self care is something I've been working on the past year. It's always a good thing to have people in your life that help go in the right direction.

Pilar said...

Thanks Ivana. I think that rediscovering yourself is the one of the most important journey's in a person's life. We outgrown things and people as well. It's ok to outgrown something or someone. Moving does help us become a better version our ourselves.

Red Rose Alley said...

You've lost friends and you've lost a home, but you didn't lose yourself. You are wonderful, Pilar. Lake Murray's sunset is beautiful. Would love to see that in person. This is such a sweet picture of you with your head bent down. You really should frame that. : )

~Sheri

Pilar said...

Thanks Sheri. You're so kind. I think that's one of my favorite photos that I've taken over the last few months. I like to think of the last few months as a transitional phase. Some of the things I've gone through I don't understand, but I know there's a bigger purpose. Letting go of friendships and moving was hard, but neccessary. Life can have a way of making you feel like you're losing yourself. I not lost thank God. I find accepting things and looking forward to the future helps. Sheri Lake Murray is beautiful. I really think you would enjoy seeing the lake.

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