Hello Everyone,
If you follow my blog regularly, then you know that I've gone to therapy off and on over the years. The past 6 months have been some of the most challenging times in my life. After my mom died last Summer and then I got sick back in August and September I decided to go back into therapy. Here are 10 things that I've learned over the years.
1. My Thoughts and feelings are valid
There have been many times in my life that I've felt like my thoughts and feelings weren't valid. Other the years I've learned that they are.
2. Continue to set boundaries
My word for 2024 is boundaries. I will not allow people to overstep their boundaries in my life.
3. I don't owe an explanation to anyone about my personal choices.
Piggybacking off number 2, I don't have to explain myself to anyone about the way I live my life. This my life.
4. Healing is an ongoing process
Life will have many challenges, but I'm learning to cope with them better. Healthy ways to deal with challenges helps me put things into perspective.
5. I'm not alone in the things that I'm experiencing.
Some experiences just suck plain and simple. As badly as I might feel about something, I'm not alone. There are others that can relate to my feelings.
6. I need to give myself more grace
I'm constantly working on giving myself more grace. These past few months have been challenging and I'm too hard on myself. I'm working daily to change that.
7. Stop putting effort into relationships with people that don't put in the same effort.
I stop doing this a long time ago and I notice that I'm happier. It doesn't matter whether it's a friend, family members, or relationships effort should be mutual not one sided.
8. Therapy is a safe space
When I feel like I need a safe space therapy is my go to place. I emphasize having a therapist that you can communicate with and trust.
9. What does the other side look like?
When you face adversities constantly it can become easy to get stuck in feeling like you deserve it. I started looking forward to the other side. Good days are coming.
10. It's okay to start again
I've started over numerous times in various areas of my life and I'm okay with that. Starting over is better than quitting.
6 comments:
What an interesting read, Pilar. Therapy isn't as popular an option in the UK - all that silly stiff upper lip nonsense a lot of Brits still believe in. The things you've learnt make perfect sense and all point to being kind to yourself. xxx
Nice insight!
These are some good things you learned in your therapy, Pilar. I especially like number 6. We do need to be more graceful to ourselves and know how very special we are. Number 5 is good as well, and it's a reminder that you are not alone in your pain and sorrows. Your blog friends care about you very much.
~Sheri
This is fantastic.. thank you for sharing these.. it can help others in their struggles.
I had therapy, a few sessions a few months after my husband died, to help process my thoughts. She moved on from that clinic and I didn't look for a new therapist. Before the holiday season, 6 months later, I started with someone new, to help me think through plans, boundaries, self care, sleep strategies , and to just get through the season and leading to the anniversary. She was excellent at guiding me at my speed and needs. No magic wand, but clear ideas and support.
The world we live I believe therapy can help us figure out our feelings and cope with them.
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