October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
All the name calling and put downs...All the I'm sorrys and I Love you's...All the text messages saying it won't happen again...only for the next time he and I got into an argument it would likely be worse than the last time...
This has to one of most courageous posts that I've posted on my blog so far. Domestic violence is a hard subject for me to write or talk about now because today I'm writing about the subject from personal experience. When you hear the words domestic violence most people automatically think physical abuse. I know I used to think that even though I know domestic violence included various types of abuse. In my situation the abuse, was mostly verbal and emotional nonetheless the pain he caused once left me feeling broken, hurt, and feeling insecure.
When you first start talking to someone things are usually go well. I thought to myself what a sweet guy until things started turning ugly with his jealously, lies, and mistreatment.
I remember one time in particular he was telling me how he doesn't want to see me cry or make me upset, but I just make him so mad. I was sitting there thinking ...wow this guy is actually blaming me for the way he mistreats me. I've been called out of my name and any accomplishments I tried to share with him he would either dismiss them or put me down. I was stalked and harassed by him the point that hearing my phone ring would sometimes send me into a state of panic. Even after things were over between us, I was still being cyber bullied, stalked, and harassed.
I finally got to a place that I said enough was enough. The day I told him I was done with him and truly meant it, I began to take my life back. Even though he has tried various ways to contact me, I haven't talked to him. I can see positive changes in my life. When I think back on all the times I kept taking him back, I was in a place that I don't think I liked myself very much at the time to endure such horrible treatment. When you truly love yourself you won't allow anyone to treat you any kind of way. It's true you can't control what someone says or does to you, but don't have to take that mistreatment.
I'm not one to share details my love life online because I feel those things are private, but I feel domestic violence is an issue that needs to be addressed more in society. I used to feel embarrassed of how I was being treated, but I had to realize that it wasn't my fault for the way he treated me. I didn't write this post for sympathy and I didn't write this post to bash his character. I wanted to write about this topic to share my story and hopefully help those who went through similar experiences (or going through similar experiences know they are not alone, and you have the strength to walk away.
October 2017 Posts
September 2017 Posts
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