I hate anxiety
Today's post is very hard for me to write. Friday night I spent hours in the ER due to an anxiety attack and high blood pressure.
I walked in the ER feeling completely helpless and in tears. Truth be told I was in hysterics. I felt like I couldnt breathe then I started hyperventilating. I thought I was going to throw up and pass out. The world around me became closed in and I didn't know what to do. I wrote about emotional self care a few weeks ago, and I realized that this past week I haven't been doing that.
This needle was very painful
I've shared a few of my personal struggles over the last few months. Friday night I felt like life just became too overwhelming. The nurses were very caring and concerned, but the doctor I had was rude and uncaring. He was most concerned with the shift changing and ready to leave. He had the mental health specialist talk with me which was also not much of a help. She was very kind, but not helpful. I have a BA degree in psychology so I know how these things go. They didn't get my blood pressure down, and basically sent me on my way with a cup of water that asked for hours ago and only received when I was getting ready to leave. I felt just as badly as I did when I left the ER as I did when I first got there.
Very scary...my blood pressure was 159/123 almost stroke level
I feel thankful for all my makeup clients that understand their cancellations for the upcoming week. I will be back to creating your makeup looks very soon. As I mentioned in my 6th Blogiversary Post, I will be taking a social media break.
I took this picture in the ER, to show the realness of anxiety. Anxiety is real, depression is real. Mental health issues are real. As you can see I'm still very visibly upset. Please be kind to people. They may be going through a struggle you know nothing about...
I'm unsure of when I'll be back on social media. Maybe a week or more. Right now I'm not sure. I will be back though. I don't want to put anymore pressure on myself than I have to.
This morning I drove to Lake Murray and parked to clear my mind. I'm still having anxiety and depression, but I find peace here. Trees are supposed to symbolize a new start. So here's to new beginnings. Talk with you all soon.
July 2019 Posts
Blue Glitter Mermaid Eyes
Creative Patriotic Makeup
Emotional Self Care
Current Beauty Wishlist
Things That Make Me Happy As An Adult
Get to Know Me!
Summer Glam 2019
Happy 6th Blogiversary to Beauty and More by Pilar!